Musings

A List of Things I Weirdly Miss

Gemma - Wheelescapades

I shared a post on social media last week that I’d written two years ago, when I’d been enraged at the inequality of booking concert tickets as a wheelchair user, which spurred a rant called Booking Accessible Tickets – Mission (almost) Impossible.

Rereading this post got me thinking. I actually miss this stuff. I don’t miss discrimination, inaccessibility and inequality, don’t get me wrong. But I miss the missions, adventures and situations that make a life. It’s not all good, but even the irritating can make for a good memory. It can define a moment in time and be something to look back on, laugh about and make life what it is.

I miss gigs and cafes and friends and family and people watching and just browsing the shops. Most of us do, I’m sure.

But I miss all this too –

  • Waiting for the bus in the pouring rain only to find a wheelchair user is already on board (there’s only space for one of us)
  • Manoeuvring on the bus to a round of applause from other passengers
  • Getting out of lifts on the wrong floor because I can’t see a thing behind me
  • People letting doors go in my face
  • The waiting game for my name to be called in Starbucks
  • My name always being spelt wrong in Starbucks (how hard can it be?)
  • Checking the weather app while knowing it’s unreliable
  • People stopping suddenly in the street and me crashing into them
  • People staring at their phone as their shins hit my footplate
  • People stepping backwards and landing on my lap
  • The fear of handbags knocking my joystick
  • The race to beat the green man at a crossing
  • My hand getting cramp in the middle of said crossing
  • Getting the look when I leave most of my meal in a restaurant
  • Having to go the long way round
  • Using the goods entrance
  • Reversing out of lifts while people simultaneously try to get in
  • The doors closing on me while others push in
  • That dread of being shown to a table at the far end of a restaurant
  • Realising I just used my last straw and being given a paper one
  • Going back on myself half a mile to find a dropped curb
  • Going back on myself half a mile because someone has parked their car on the pavement
  • Being meticulous with planning
  • The apprehensions going somewhere new and hoping there is access
  • Being invited somewhere and relying on somebody to take me
  • Cobbled streets
  • Reversing down pavements that started off wide but suddenly get narrow
  • The thrill of a theme park on others faces
  • Being asked if I’m ok by well meaning pensioners
  • Sitting alone in the cinema
  • Eating fine dining with a plastic fork but the one provided is too heavy
  • The mass exodus at the end of a concert

What do you miss that you never thought you would?

An image to pin. Title text, A List of Things I Weirdly Miss, is at the top in orange text on a dark grey background. The main image is a photo of me in my power wheelchair wrapped up warm sitting outside a stately historical building.

Published by Gemma - Wheelescapades

Whenever friends and I are out we always end up discussing, critiquing, analysing where we are and what we are doing. From talking about the food we are eating, the soap in the toilets, the awful bus journey to our destination, anything and everything we encounter. Because of my disability (SMA type2) many of the situations we get into, issues we discuss and laughs we have can be due to wheelchair access. Often me getting stuck in mud or shingle, or me making my way through the most cram packed shop you can imagine, wondering how I am ever going to find the way out again! I aim to write a blog that describes these dramas, tells stories of our laughs, adventures and frustrations, while giving detailed information on accessibility and wheelchair access. Also I like tea. ALOT. The quality of the tea often determines my return just as much as the accessibility.

22 thoughts on “A List of Things I Weirdly Miss”

  1. Your post doesn’t make me think of the current situation, but of the time when I stopped commuting into London every day for work. I still don’t miss a lot of things about that – it was really tiring and exhausting some days – not the job itself, but the random encounters, bizarre questions, and sinking horror of realising your normal route to work had been blocked off by building works and you had to complete the challenge of negotiating the unknown and making it to work without swearing at too many passing tourists or temporary cones!

    It didn’t bring out the best in me, but I also got some funny stories from going through thosetimes and it taught me a thing or two about problem-solving – similar to the problem-solving skills you talk about in your post.

    I don’t want to go back to commuting, and it wouldn’t be the same without my 4-legged travelling companion, but I hope you get back to the activities like gigs etc some time soon.

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    1. It’s often those experiences that provide us memories and stories, be it good or bad. And yes as you say, enhance our skills and creativity.
      I would not be good at commuting, just the odd public transport trip can make me rage for days. I still miss it none the less!

      Hope you’re keeping well.

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  2. Ha! Good list. Thank you for sharing.
    Me, I realised that I need a variety of places to get things done. So my planning and brainstorming is best done in a coffeeshop with a bit of a buzz around me. Needless to say, my planning and brainstorming have suffered lately.

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  3. Thank you so much for sharing this list – it is helpful not only to others who are facing these challenges, but also for those who are not, as it raises awareness of things that we might not otherwise have considered.

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  4. Those conversations that take place above you that you can’t quite catch, getting smacked in the face with a handbag, that has happened far too may times for me. The rest I was literally agreeing with you every one of them. xx

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    1. That’s a good one I’m ashamed to have missed off the list, isn’t it frustrating what people are chatting behind you, especially if it’s about you. Also I get people say ‘oh look at that’ when I’m facing the opposite direction and don’t turn my wheels quick enough to see. It’s like I’ve always got my back to the action.

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  5. “…a sea of bums”–that really got me. You’re fantastic at these lists, you know! And, I have to say, I never thought about the fact you’re competing with baby strollers for a spot on the bus–that’s ridiculous. And I don’t know how it is that so many people have missed the elevator/lift rule memo. People exiting ALWAYS go first, before you try to wedge your anxious bum in there! As an introvert, I’ll say I’m surprised to miss casual chit-chat, like with the grocery store cashier. These times are so weird, aren’t they!

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    1. Oh you’d be surprised at some of the bums I’ve been witness to! I’m at the perfect height to get a fact full way too often. Not lately though.
      Ah yes, casual chit chat with a random, us introverts will be even more rubbish at it when life returns to some kind of normal.

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  6. When I see this list, I get angry at the obnoxiousness of the world around us. Then I realize that I have no right to be outraged because I’m not the one who has to deal with it, and remind myself to be better when I see this in the world.

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  7. Normality we miss don’t we?!

    I miss my family and friends the most.

    I miss coffee and lunch dates.

    I miss going to the Metro Centre and buying things from real shops.

    I even miss (just a little bit) the commute to work. That time singing along to the radio or speaking to my friend on my way home. I just turn my laptop off and walk from the kitchen to the living room now.

    I miss theatre and live events!

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  9. I miss all those things and more!
    *Shopping in store (retail therapy) with friend(s)
    *going to lunch at short notice
    *the theatre
    *the cinema
    *gigs
    *the queue for nearest disabled toilet
    * travelling on the bus without feeling nervous
    *actually going out anywhere without feeling nervous.
    *and most of all friends and family who don’t live close by.

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