If we were having coffee I wouldn’t order cake. I know I said I always would. It’s ok, I’m ok. It’s been quite the month of cake.

It started with my nieces 7th birthday at the start of April, and ended with my 34th birthday near the end. We are the type of people that celebrate with multiple cakes on multiple occasions.

A large cheesecake covered in chocolate ganache and broken up chocolate including kit kats, malteasers, and fudge.
Salted caramel chocolate cheesecake

So today mine is a decaffeinated tea with skinny milk and a side of water in a glass.

If we were having coffee I’d ask if you knew when summer was starting? We had that nice weekend, do you remember it? Around Easter time. It got my hopes up and then it rained forever after. I don’t function very well in the cold, my joints go all stiff and my fingers can’t move. I’m still having five blankets and two hot water bottles in bed. I have a hot water bottle right now at 6pm on the 30th April. That’s not right is it?!

I’d also ask if you were struck by storm Hannah?! She was brief yet rather forceful, like a toddler during the terrible twos. She totally screwed with my hair. The one day I decide to leave the house was when she visited. That’s how my life tends to go.

If we were having coffee I’d tell you I’m a millionaire. I just need to reply to those emails I keep getting and claim my fortune.

While on the subject of annoying emails, I’d tell you I’m raged with Pizza Hut. I ordered a delivery once, at least four years ago, and now they won’t leave me alone. Like a needy friend, that just decided they’re your friend. I get a text every weekend without fail, sometimes two. It’s bordering on harassment with them trying to lure me in to their dodgy, stodgy un-Italian pizza. On top of that they invite me to buffet, it’s even available on a Sunday now. I know because I went. Twice. They’ve stopped the pasta salad and cous cous, what kind of buffet is that?!

If we were having coffee you’d know how much I love a buffet. Not. I can’t think of much worse. Unlimited food that I do not eat, that has been touched and breathed on by multiple humans, including the tiny ones that haven’t learned about hygiene yet. I have a thing about germs, but that’s ok when being ill is as awkward as it is for me.

You’d probably tell me about the unsubscribe link, that every person has the right to change their mind. I’d tell you the button doesn’t work. I’ve tried.

If we were having coffee I’d tell you that not only is a plastic straw the perfect drinking implement, it is also my cats new favourite toy. Jumping on all fours, carrying it around in his mouth. A whole climbing frame and they didn’t want to know. But stealing my straw, that’s the highlight of their day. And mine.

So if that isn’t reason enough to produce environmentally friendly alternatives I don’t know what is.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that I never realised how annoying it was being a child that keeps saying ‘what’, until I had a child (not mine) keep saying ‘what’. She can hear me, I know she can. And why is it she can pronounce a t in every other word, but ‘whhaaa’ doesn’t follow those rules. Oh and ‘threenager’ is definitely a thing.

I am sorry for all the times I said ‘whhaaa’ for no known reason. I never will again.

While on the subject of children I would tell you my friends and I had a conversation about star charts. One of us confessed that they reward themselves with chocolate after doing tasks and chores (yes we are all 30ish). So I felt that might be a great way to get my focus focussed. Only with tea.

I gave it a go. No more teas until I’ve written two paragraphs. It’s surprising how well it works even though it’s my rules in my head.

If we were having coffee I would update you on the new wheels situation. I’d tell you my new wheelchair arrived. I used it for two days. One of those days I went to bed at 7pm, and the second day I quit and got back into my old chair before 1pm. I’ve been in the old trusty wheels since.

Having wheels isn’t as straightforward as you’d like to think. Sitting for 12-14 hours isn’t either. I dare you to try it. You will not move your legs at all, or shuffle your bum. If you do then you’ll need to explain and direct every minute movement to another human who will then mostly miss interpret what you’ve specified, which is left or right, and put your leg in a totally different place to the one your brain did.

If we were having coffee I would recommend you a couple of reads. The first being a book I read a few weeks ago that totally changed my perspective. I’ve been in hospital more times than I care to remember. Sometimes for long periods of time, sometimes for Christmas and often seriously ill. These people have saved my life, but also frustrated me. ‘This Is Going To Hurt: Secret Diaries Of A Junior Doctor’ is a journal style book written by Adam Kay during his time working and studying in NHS hospitals. This hilarious, emotional honest and devastating read made me consider more the lives of those on the other side of the hospital curtains.

My second recommendation is a recent post from blogging pal Lorna over at Gin & Lemonade. ‘Disabled People Aren’t Superheroes’. This post just got me, like Lorna is inside my head and saying things better than I ever could.

The final one is kind of a read but also a brilliant tool. I think I’ve been a bit slow to discover this one! I’m not sure how long it’s been around but I do hope it continues to expand. Along with a blog covering different disability topics, AccessAble website and app are like an accessibility guide and database. I had a little browse and there are a few Norwich businesses on there, no where near enough. This tool describes in detail the access of a venue, restaurant, cinema etc. I mean it tells you the small things that no other website I’ve come across even considers. There are photos on entering buildings, inside them, measurements of door widths and table heights, flooring materials, hearing loops, braille information. It tells me if straws are available, takeaway cups and cutlery, whether there is background music or distracting screens. This is stuff I don’t even think about. Crucial stuff for some people. Just like I may need a straw to drink independently, another person may struggle with flashing screens. I urge you to give this website a peruse. Even if you don’t have any access requirements. It’s good to be aware.

If we were having coffee what would you tell me?


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13 thoughts on “If We Were Having Coffee – Life Musing #2

  1. I think in life we need to pounce on any possible excuse for more cake.
    I’ll join you in wondering where the summer is. I know my body doesn’t regulate temperature well so I’m usually very cold anyway, but come on, it’s miserable grey outside and freezing! Maybe one day soon we can put aside our hot water bottles, but not this week… 😦

    Hahah a millionaire eh. I want those emails. Apparently I just have erectile dysfunction.

    Can you request by way of email that Pizza Hut kindly remove you from all marketing contact? Threaten them with the updated GDPR stuff. Unsubscribe links don’t work for some things, I’ve found that myself.

    I’m liking the idea of rewards for tasks completed. Tea & chocolate I think would be adequate. As long as the smallest of tasks are included. So what’ll happen with the new wheels?

    I’ve seen good reviews for This Is Going To Hurt, I bought it for my brother’s birthday the other month. Might have to get a copy for myself, I just wasn’t sure if I could stomach it. Too much hospital and health stuff and all that. But if you enjoyed it.. It’s going on my list! And a great tip on checking the AccessAble website (which I’d not come across before) so I’ll check that out now. It’s great to be able to spread the word about things like this that a lot of people who could benefit from it probably don’t know about.

    Caz xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well today is a little more sunny but still not warm enough. Hot water bottles still in use!
      Ha, according to my emails I have all kinds of dysfunctions!
      I know what you mean about holding off from reading This Is Going To Hurt, but I’m also weirdly drawn to medical books and dramas. I don’t know why! Let me know what you think if/when you read it?
      The mission for new wheels is still ongoing, I’m currently waiting for some adjustments to be made.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. If we were having coffee, Gemma, I would first tell you how lovely it is to finally meet you in person. And then I would ask you were you found that delicious looking salted carmel chocolate cheesecake thingy! Next, I would tell you to BLOCK Pizza Hut. I do that to emails that don’t unsubscribe me. I’m sorry to hear your new chair didn’t work out so well. I get it about sitting for long times, especially when trying to get writing done. Obviously not the exact same because I can get up and move around when I want to but the bum falling asleep (and leg and feet) is a real concern. Thanks for sharing your latest!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s great to meet you too 😃
      The salted caramel chocolate cheesecake is homemade I’m afraid, but not by myself! I’m sure you could give it a go.
      How good it would be to jiffle.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. If we were having coffee I would tell you April was rainy and overcast and I hated. I prefer cold and blue sky. That I am realizing the year is racing by and I have to get my head around a few projects. Also I’d tell you I enjoyed the “if we were having coffee” it is neat to read what is going on with my tribe!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m with you on the blue skies, gives me more motivation.
      The first part of this year seemed to go quite slowly, but now I can’t believe it’s almost mid May!

      Like

  4. Hi Gemma, interesting read.. I guess your old trusty wheelchair is the one you are comfortable with.. disappointing though I guess that your new one was not comfortable. We have a sunny day here today and my 7 year old is demanding toast.. or rather I’m hungry, I want toast, it’s 11.20am.. he had breakfast at 8.30am and he says he is starving… as for buffets you have just made me rethink eating from them.. Oohh as for unsubscribing I’ve found it does not work either, have a lovely weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, I hope the sun stayed out for you and the 7 year old didn’t starve… children, they are always hungry! I have a just 7 year old niece that is the same. Like we never feed her.
      The new wheels are having a few adjustments made later this week, so we shall see how that goes.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. If we were having coffee, I’d definitely be having coffee, and I’d bring the cheese scones – because not cake, right?

    Sorry to hear about your chair. Have you given up on it, or is it a case of getting used to it slowly?

    If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I’m really ready for the long weekend, but I’ll be spending part of it studying as I have an assignment due in soon!

    The Easter weekend was so good – I’m ready for the sunshine too, but we had the heating on this week!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ooh cheese scones, you’re invited round more often Kirsty!
      I have another appointment for the new wheels later this week, hopefully a few alterations may help and then I’ll give it a second chance.
      Good luck with the assignment!

      Like

  6. That website sounds brilliant and really useful. Sorry to hear your having trouble with your new wheels. This Bank Holiday weekend is going to be the coldest for 40 years, gutted. That beautiful Easter weekend really whet my appetite for long lazy summer days. We can’t complain too much at least we don’t have snow! I’m looking forward to the long weekend nonetheless and I’ve got the rest of the week off work and I’m off to York for our baby moon!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m hoping it becomes a great tool for people with access requirements. I’ll definitely be looking to see if a venue is there before I visit.
      I hope you have an enjoyable week off from work and a great babymoon!

      Liked by 1 person

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